lotto

14, 33, 28, 7, 34, 2

Falling Through the Cracks

I was an idiot to think that it would go down any other way. That's what happens when you devote your entire life to something. It doesn't work out. Successful marriages are the ones where the cop pulls over the speeding camaro, pretty blonde bats her eyelashes, and off they go to the wedding chapel, skipping and singing the whole way. The guy who wins the lottery is the one who buys his first ticket and plays the birthdays of his kids and/or wife. The garage band that blows up and makes it big is the one that bangs around on their instruments for a year, learns some basic chords, and gets picked up by BMG because they look like Brad Pitt.

You'll never see the guy who sidelines his dreams of being a rock star and goes to college, abandons everything in his life (including his family), and basically bows down and does everything in his god-given power to make things work for his love, be given his just desserts. Never does the gambling fanatic win big. If he does, it doesn't cover the overhead from all the wasted dollar bills that were forfeited on outlandish hopes. Never does the hard-working artist make a living playing music, while 50 Cent can burp out a few elementary rhymes about how bad it sucks in the hood and make millions.

I guess, if I've learned anything from life and living, it's that noone really benefits from actual devotion to anything. Noone gets what they want. If a man is lucky, he'll stumble upon some weird hidden talent and make a living exploiting it. The truly successful man will go to the right party and tell the right joke, and blow-job his way into a career. The man who has things truly figured out is the one who shits all over everything in his life, couldn't care less about his love, devotes nothing to his passion, and fully exploits whatever falls through the cracks.

Pirate... I think.

The rill dill. This was in a weapons depot.

Renaissance fair

This is the dude at the door. He called it a barb. Gaywad.

Between shifts.

About to study my psychology class and I'm honestly feeling pretty good about my decision to wait for college. I know how I used to be, and I deinitely wouldn't have been able to handle it. I now actually like to learn. I (somewhat) enjoy reading my textbooks. I guess we'll see how long that lasts.

Welp, better get to it.

Celly phone

Doing schoolwork since noon. Good night.

I challenge myself to have a straight-A semester

I haven’t had straight since i was in, like, second grade. This is a challenge to myself and I promise to do everything in my power to make it happen. If I can do it my first semester in college, there’s no reason I can’t do it every semester following. “Let’s see what the kid can do.”

See more progress on: get straight A's

trying to get back to this daily blogging thing.

When you think about the fact that I'm seriously considering a career in writing, this may come in handy. I haven't brushed up on my chops in quite some time, so I think I'll get back to it.

well...

I can play “Dechristianize” by Vital Remains on the guitar. Not all it’s cracked up to be.

See more progress on: learn how to play "dechristianize" on the guitar

Started the Slim Fast diet

It’s not that I’m overly large or anything. Most people laugh when they see me with one of those delicious strawberries and cream flavored treats in my hand. Not because they think that it’s funny or anything, but because I’m already in good shape by the standards of most. The problem isn’t that I’m fat, I’m just out of shape. I’m not trying to lose a substantial amount of weight here. I’m just trying to be more diligent in regimenting my eating. I need to slow down. I’ve gained 25 lbs. since high school. That is in-excusable. If I don’t do something now, I’ll continue to carry these bad habits well into midlife. That’s what I’m trying to avoid here.

See more progress on: get in shape

actually...

Fully consumed every song on my ipod. I achieved this goal while the band was on tour. I cheated a little, though. I just deleted some things that I didn’t like the first time through. Some would say that that’s cheating, but oh well.

See more progress on: fully consume every song on my ipod

paid off wyckford commons

After being threatened with court fees and lawyer bullshit, i’ve finally paid off Wyckford commons. One less thing.

See more progress on: pay off the wyck ($350)

err.

i’ve finally decided to take a detour in life and go to college. i’m 22, so it’s about that time. having a blast thus far.

See more progress on: go to school for marketing

High School Nostalgia

I'm about to go to my orientation for my online english class. it's really weird being back in school again, especially the Ben Davis classes. I feel so nostalgic. I walked around a little bit the other day during one of my class breaks. I have class right across the hall from the Career Center Cafeteria. I used to eat lunch in there sometimes.

craziest TRUE murder plot... ever.

so, she hires a guy to kill her dad, but doesn't have the money to pay him... yet. she panics and kills her boyfriend so that he won't turn her in. in order to pay the assassin she hired to off her dad, she calls a pizza guy and constructs a plan to strap a bomb to his neck and have him rob a bank, pretending to be a helpless victim. police restrain the pizza guy, and the bomb goes off.
http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/07/11/collar.bomb.charges/index.html?eref=rss_topstories

sorry about that...

chicago was amazing. field museum. museum of science and industry. cabs. trains. THE RED CHORD. no pictures of the red chord, though. sorry.

words invented by shakespear

Accused
Addiction
Advertising
Amazement
Arouse
Assassination
Bandit
Bedroom
Beached
Blanket
Bump
Cater
Champion
Countless
Epileptic
Fixture
Flawed
Generous
Hint
Lonely
Mimic
Negotiate
Obscene
Premeditated
Rant
Summit
Torture
Varied
Worthless
Zany

Chicago tomorrow

So... We are officially going to chicago tomorrow. Many posts w/ pics. Promise.

Chuck palahniuk

13 Writing Tips

by Chuck Palahniuk

Twenty years ago, a friend and I walked around downtown Portland at Christmas. The big department stores: Meier and Frank… Fredrick and Nelson… Nordstroms… their big display windows each held a simple, pretty scene: a mannequin wearing clothes or a perfume bottle sitting in fake snow. But the windows at the J.J. Newberry's store, damn, they were crammed with dolls and tinsel and spatulas and screwdriver sets and pillows, vacuum cleaners, plastic hangers, gerbils, silk flowers, candy - you get the point. Each of the hundreds of different objects was priced with a faded circle of red cardboard. And walking past, my friend, Laurie, took a long look and said, "Their window-dressing philosophy must be: 'If the window doesn't look quite right - put more in'."

She said the perfect comment at the perfect moment, and I remember it two decades later because it made me laugh. Those other, pretty display windows… I'm sure they were stylist and tasteful, but I have no real memory of how they looked.

For this essay, my goal is to put more in. To put together a kind-of Christmas stocking of ideas, with the hope that something will be useful. Or like packing the gift boxes for readers, putting in candy and a squirrel and a book and some toys and a necklace, I'm hoping that enough variety will guarantee that something here will occur as completely asinine, but something else might be perfect.

Number One: Two years ago, when I wrote the first of these essays it was about my "egg timer method" of writing. You never saw that essay, but here's the method: When you don't want to write, set an egg timer for one hour (or half hour) and sit down to write until the timer rings. If you still hate writing, you're free in an hour. But usually, by the time that alarm rings, you'll be so involved in your work, enjoying it so much, you'll keep going. Instead of an egg timer, you can put a load of clothes in the washer or dryer and use them to time your work. Alternating the thoughtful task of writing with the mindless work of laundry or dish washing will give you the breaks you need for new ideas and insights to occur. If you don't know what comes next in the story… clean your toilet. Change the bed sheets. For Christ sakes, dust the computer. A better idea will come.

Number Two: Your audience is smarter than you imagine. Don't be afraid to experiment with story forms and time shifts. My personal theory is that younger readers distain most books - not because those readers are dumber than past readers, but because today's reader is smarter. Movies have made us very sophisticated about storytelling. And your audience is much harder to shock than you can ever imagine.

Number Three: Before you sit down to write a scene, mull it over in your mind and know the purpose of that scene. What earlier set-ups will this scene pay off? What will it set up for later scenes? How will this scene further your plot? As you work, drive, exercise, hold only this question in your mind. Take a few notes as you have ideas. And only when you've decided on the bones of the scene - then, sit and write it. Don't go to that boring, dusty computer without something in mind. And don't make your reader slog through a scene in which little or nothing happens.

Number Four: Surprise yourself. If you can bring the story - or let it bring you - to a place that amazes you, then you can surprise your reader. The moment you can see any well-planned surprise, chances are, so will your sophisticated reader.

Number Five: When you get stuck, go back and read your earlier scenes, looking for dropped characters or details that you can resurrect as "buried guns." At the end of writing Fight Club, I had no idea what to do with the office building. But re-reading the first scene, I found the throw-away comment about mixing nitro with paraffin and how it was an iffy method for making plastic explosives. That silly aside (… paraffin has never worked for me…) made the perfect "buried gun" to resurrect at the end and save my storytelling ass.

Number Six: Use writing as your excuse to throw a party each week - even if you call that party a "workshop." Any time you can spend time among other people who value and support writing, that will balance those hours you spend alone, writing. Even if someday you sell your work, no amount of money will compensate you for your time spent alone. So, take your "paycheck" up front, make writing an excuse to be around people. When you reach the end of your life - trust me, you won't look back and savor the moments you spent alone.

Number Seven: Let yourself be with Not Knowing. This bit of advice comes through a hundred famous people, through Tom Spanbauer to me and now, you. The longer you can allow a story to take shape, the better that final shape will be. Don't rush or force the ending of a story or book. All you have to know is the next scene, or the next few scenes. You don't have to know every moment up to the end, in fact, if you do it'll be boring as hell to execute.

Number Eight: If you need more freedom around the story, draft to draft, change the character names. Characters aren't real, and they aren't you. By arbitrarily changing their names, you get the distance you need to really torture a character. Or worse, delete a character, if that's what the story really needs.

Number Nine: There are three types of speech - I don't know if this is TRUE, but I heard it in a seminar and it made sense. The three types are: Descriptive, Instructive, and Expressive. Descriptive: "The sun rose high…" Instructive: "Walk, don't run…" Expressive: "Ouch!" Most fiction writers will only use one - at most, two - of these forms. So use all three. Mix them up. It's how people talk.

Number Ten: Write the book you want to read.

Number Eleven: Get author book jacket photos taken now, while you're young. And get the negatives and copyright on those photos.

Number Twelve: Write about the issues that really upset you. Those are the only things worth writing about. In his course, called "Dangerous Writing," Tom Spanbauer stresses that life is too precious to spend it writing tame, conventional stories to which you have no personal attachment. There are so many things that Tom talked about but that I only half remember: the art of "manumission," which I can't spell, but I understood to mean the care you use in moving a reader through the moments of a story. And "sous conversation," which I took to mean the hidden, buried message within the obvious story. Because I'm not comfortable describing topics I only half-understand, Tom's agreed to write a book about his workshop and the ideas he teaches. The working title is "A Hole In The Heart," and he plans to have a draft ready by June 2006, with a publishing date set in early 2007.

Number Thirteen: Another Christmas window story. Almost every morning, I eat breakfast in the same diner, and this morning a man was painting the windows with Christmas designs. Snowmen. Snowflakes. Bells. Santa Claus. He stood outside on the sidewalk, painting in the freezing cold, his breath steaming, alternating brushes and rollers with different colors of paint. Inside the diner, the customers and servers watched as he layered red and white and blue paint on the outside of the big windows. Behind him the rain changed to snow, falling sideways in the wind.

The painter's hair was all different colors of gray, and his face was slack and wrinkled as the empty ass of his jeans. Between colors, he'd stop to drink something out of a paper cup.

Watching him from inside, eating eggs and toast, somebody said it was sad. This customer said the man was probably a failed artist. It was probably whiskey in the cup. He probably had a studio full of failed paintings and now made his living decorating cheesy restaurant and grocery store windows. Just sad, sad, sad.

This painter guy kept putting up the colors. All the white "snow," first. Then some fields of red and green. Then some black outlines that made the color shapes into Xmas stockings and trees.

A server walked around, pouring coffee for people, and said, "That's so neat. I wish I could do that…"

And whether we envied or pitied this guy in the cold, he kept painting. Adding details and layers of color. And I'm not sure when it happened, but at some moment he wasn't there. The pictures themselves were so rich, they filled the windows so well, the colors so bright, that the painter had left. Whether he was a failure or a hero. He'd disappeared, gone off to wherever, and all we were seeing was his work.

Pasted from <http://www.chuckpalahniuk.net/workshops/resource/chuckessay.php>

Sarah is 13... Wow

So, sarah came over and hung out for her 13th birthday. It's official. My mother is a dipshit. Of course, she thanked me for making her day special. We went kayaking. You'd think sarah had never seen a damn boat before. She had fun, though. She wants a phonecall next time we go.

Jerry tried to pull his typical brand of bullshit (of course). Sarah had taken some rings that belonged to jerry's mom and wore them. He got all pissed about it and called screaming. I pretty much told him to calm down and hung up on him. It's totally stupid considering my mother told her that she could wear them. Anywho, I just made her take the rings off and put them in her bag to make sure they made it home safely.

You know, my dad and I have been having these late-night drunken conversations about life and everything. We have pretty much covered all the bases. We talk jobs, school, relationships, everything. He and squeel are finally calling it quits. Dad's been screwing around and squeel is miserable. I mean, all he wants to do is age another 12 years and retire and she is clinging to her youth like it were chocolate cake (speaking of which, I almost forgot to mention that I baked sarah a 4-layer chocolate cake and it was amazing).

Well, I guess that's all for now. Laters.

Dry bread

Zach helpin out.

Candace is a whiny bitch

We made cake. I applied to the geek squad. Hurrah. Tea party. Burnt to hell from kayaking. My spoon is too big.

Slut heaven

I'm in 15 year-old slut heaven, aka the gwen stefani concert.

Gwen stefani

Is about to start. Or, at least ''lady sovereign'' is.

www.myspace.com/tonydanzatapdanceextravaganza

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=983138

diarrhea

Brown sprinkler... teehee.

This could change me

I'm on my way downtown to apply for college. Very exciting.

Marketing knows no boundaries

It must be nice to have an unlimited supply of money to market your product.

Sweet da vinvi quote

From the collected notebooks of leonardo da vinci:

"man and the animals are merely a passage and channel for food, a tomb for other animals, a haven for the dead, giving life by the death of others, a coffer full of corruption."

So, apparently he was a painter, sculptor, inventor, visionary, poet, AND the first ever emo pansy. Still a sweet ass quote.

no longer jobless

i now officially work at cheeseburger in paradise. it's pretty nice. i get to listen to 17 year-olds dramatize school and shit.

dad and squeel met candace's mom yesterday. that was actually swell. we went to el rodeo (big surprise). cindy laughed so hard she cried.

that's pretty much it.

evil

It kinda scares me to know that the most frightening creature since gilbert godfried has given birth.

dad's house

first time i've spent a significant amount of time here since a few weeks ago when he was being a complete asshole. i think candace hates me. she seems less and less entheusiastic about our relationship every day.

i'm listening to an advance copy of the new jfac cd. it's pretty smokin.

i'm about to start day 4 of my new job at cheeseburger. my managers all seem pretty cool.

the band has a new place to jam.

this is the state of things.

press kit

What is a Press Kit:
First of all, there is nothing magical about the term “press kit”. All we are talking about is a little background on you/your band, some basic facts, good quotes about your music, a couple of good pictures, and a sample of your music. You will use this to send to newspapers, lawyers, radio stations, A&R reps, promoters, and anyone else who is willing to spend five minutes reviewing your material. Additionally, on the internet you will hear about an electronic press kit, or EPS. An EPS is the exact same thing as a conventional press kit, except it is downloadable as an electronic file instead of a hardcopy form which must be mailed.
The main purpose of the press kit is to generate interest in the artist and their music.
What to include:
Include a limited amount of background information on yourself. It is fine to say where you are from, but no one really wants to hear about every singing performance you did during elementary school. Sometimes less is more.
Talk about your music. Who do you sound like, and who does your music remind people of. The reader needs to be able to have a good idea of what your music sounds like just from your description. Be thoughtful and feel free to be a little funny here (but stay professional). Saying something like your band sounds like a cross between “Maroon 5 and Green Day after 20 cups of coffee” helps the reader understand. Remember, if you don’t generate enough interest in the first minute, they will never listen to your demo.
Talk about what you are good at. What makes your band special and different from others? What skills and experiences do you bring to the table? Remember if you are looking for a record deal, you need to prove to your reader that you have all the right ingredients for them to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars marketing you. Launching a new artist is risky, so you need to help the record exec understand why you are a solid investment.
Include quotes and/or press clippings as you generate them. A good quote from a reputable source (not your brother-in-law) can add a lot of credibility to your press kit. It lets the reader know that you have already been reviewed and your material is worth listening to. Ninety percent of press kits unfortunately end up in the trash, some good quotes and positive reviews can create the momentum necessary to get heard, and who knows – maybe even become famous.
You can go with one page dedicated to a bio (biography), and a separate page focused on quotes about your music, or you can combine the two into what some people call a “one pager”. My personal preference is to boil everything down to a tight one pager. My desk gets cluttered and papers get separated. If you have you quotes separate from your bio, there is a possibility that I could misplace one or the other. With the advent of digital photography and high quality color printers, it is even possible to include a small picture on your one pager to make it even more complete.
Make sure the overall language and tone of the press kit is consistent with your image. If you have someone help you write your bio, make sure they have heard you music and know what you are all about before they hand you something that might sound great, but isn’t about the real you.
Include a couple of different 8x10 pictures that show off different features about you and your band. Include shots that would be appropriate in a news article, but also highlight your key assets from a visual perspective. Your press kit should look professional, but your pictures should reflect your style and music, so you pictures can be much more crazy and creative. Make sure you clearly label the picture with you name and contact information.
If you don’t have good pictures of your band, one of the best ways to get some is to go to a modeling agency and ask for a referral to a good local photographer. These photographers are often willing to do some great work for around $300 for the whole package. Make sure you get an agreement upfront that you own the copyrights after the shot and get the high resolution digital images on CD (with a copyright release you can print these photos at any major retailer). A photographer who does work with models is very different from a photographer who takes family pictures. They have a much better idea of what you want, they will encourage your creativity, and they are much more willing to give you the copyrights.
A current gig sheet can also be useful showing where you have recently played and where you are playing in the near future. This can demonstrate that the music is current and has a following in the community.
And of course, your music. Send a high quality CD demo, preferably mastered if you budget permits. Avoid burning your own CD on your home computer with a stick on label – it looks cheap. There are many new CD duplication services on the internet that will manufacture you CD with a printed color insert, and on disc printing even if you only want a few copies (CD replication is for batches over 1,000 but CD duplication is for batch sizes as small as 1). Expect to pay around $5 a retail ready disc for 1-5 CDs, with prices dropping off for larger batches. Make sure you clearly label the CD and the case with you name and contact information. The worst thing in the world that could happen is that they love your music, but they have already lost the rest of the press kit and don’t remember the name of the band.
What Not to Include:
Don’t oversell yourself. Saying that you are the greatest band that ever lived, might be true, but it probably isn’t. Be positive and promote yourself, but focus on statements that are credible. People in the music business hear hype all of the time, and for the most part are numb to it. Hype is good to use with the general public on things like posters (they often believe it), but your press kit reader is more sophisticated and will see it as cheap theatrics.
Including too much of your personal history can make you seem like an amateur with nothing meatier to talk about. Your reader wants to understand your music today, only your psychologist needs to know about every little detail of your childhood.
Don’t include anything that makes you look too desperate. You want to come across as a quality professional artist. Remember, you make great music. If your band is called the Chicken Heads, then it might be cute to include a rubber chicken in the box, but otherwise I would stick to the basics – bio, quotes, gig sheet, pictures, and music.
How to Package It:
Include a professional looking, personalized cover letter targeted at the person you are sending the press kit to. Your message needs to be different if you are sending it to an A&R rep at a label seeking a record deal, versus sending it to your local newspaper for a review in their music section. Be brief and to the point. Also, be clear and state exactly what you would like from them.
Put it all together in an organized package. Since you are most likely mailing your press kits, make sure that the CD does not bend the photos, and that your kit will arrive looking the way you intend. You may even want to test a press kit (send it across the country to a wrong address, and then it will come back to your return address) to evaluate your packaging.
Your Music Is Art, But Your Press Kit Is Business:
Remember, be professional. The person you are sending this press kit to probably gets hundreds of them, most of them are garbage (and that’s where they end up too). Your music can be crazy and wild, but your press kit needs to be more business like. You are asking someone to spend their valuable time reviewing your material. You may also be asking them to enter into a high risk expensive financial relationship with you. The person you are dealing with is in the music business, they need to make a living. The only way they can do that is to deal with real talent. By presenting a professional package you give them confidence that you are dedicated to making great music, and not just messing around.
A Word About Unsolicited Press Kits:
Avoid wasting your time and money sending a press kit to someone you have not talked with already. Always call and make contact first, ask who you should send it to and what their process is. If possible, have someone who knows the person act as an intermediate and make the initial introduction (this can work wonders). The music business is all about contacts, create and leverage your network. After sending your press kit, call in a couple of weeks and follow up to make sure they received it and got a chance to review it.

art, music, the usual

Photoshop cs2 is the shit. i mean, i can draw decently, but this shit just blows it out of the water. it's like, i don't have to do anything to make it sweet.

New Comp

There it is. Gateway MT6707 Notebook PC.

Intel Core 2 Duo

2g RAM

15.4" Widescreen

Windows Vista Home Premium

CD/DVD Writer

Sweetness

cum.

More zombified art

More art of the zombie persuasion.

I keep thinking more and more about what I'm gonna do with my life. I catch myself evaluating all of my traits, skills, things like that. I've been considering the guitar lesson thing. I'm just not sure that I'm very good at it. I could be a product rep for fender or gibson or something. That would be pretty sweet. I just don't know.

I guess I can just keep making zombies.

Can't sleep

Jared gave me a bike. It'll hold me over.

Allen has a nice bike for sale for cheap.

I've been drawing zombies.

Watched T2 tonight. Always a winner.

Picked up dads paintings from jordan.

Applying at cheeseburger on monday. Goodbye, unemployment.

show

Last night was pretty sweet. I think we could have managed a bigger turnout, but we did okay. Played last again. That always sucks, but at least the kids stayed. It was good to see mike collier and beaver and them. I gave joey my underwear when his band was performing.

Finally had a talk with corey. He's going to manage 40 a week until mah ass is payed off.

Zombie Soldier

I'm watching the second "Alien" movie right now. You know, just takin' a load off after completing my masterpiece. I call it "Zombie Soldier With Ammo Belt and Messed Up Jaw and No Ears." Ain't she a beauty? First attempt at painting in the books.

center

You'd think that the center would stamd in the center of the court.

Selling my civil war collection on ebay. Good bye civil war.

Tomorrow will officially tell whether or not I should teach guitar.

pooping

Just having a poo.

this mobile stuff is getting out of hand

yeah. i'm emailing a post to my blog and it's automatically posting it for me. crazy.

---

i'm making a difference. Make every IM count for the cause of your choice. Join Now.

easters

wow. okay. woke up at ten to candace freaking out about not being able to get into the other room to get her clothes. i wake up, grab a tiny screwdriver and pop the door right open.

we get showered. she hides the eggs. three people show (thanks dave, bianca, and javella). the easter eggs were a blast to hunt down/find.

ate some candy.

brittany bohannon showed up. hung out for a couple of hours w/ us & javella. dave & bianca left shortly after to do the easter thang. we ate pizza.

sarah came over to hang out (for the first time in a while).

we went over to bianca's and went for a photo shoot. bianca's final project. modeling photos in a dilapidated ass house.

back to bianca's for hot chocolate.

back to apt so candace could change.

over to mom's for easter dinner. jay, april, & co. left as we got there. hung out and ate some chicken noodle soup w/ real chicken.

watched napoleon dynamite.

came back to apt. and carried candace's boxes up from the van. sorted through her scrapbooks from high school.

talked.

fin.

red chord... no dice (and seattle)

The Red Chord has found a new guitar player... and it isn't me. Oh well. I can honestly say that I gave it my all and that I am very proud of myself for even being a possible candidate. Five hours a day of guitar playing per day for a straight week is something to be happy about, even if the fruits of my labor aren't particularly as glamourous as I'd hoped for.

My vacation with Candace to Seattle was a smash success. Aside from the fact that she was having a rather unpleasant week, we made the best of it. I ate some of the best sushi that money can buy. Todai. 25$ per buffet. Every kind of sushi imagineable. Yeah, it was good. We ate lots of phad tai, too. It's funny, she kept mentioning how funny it was that our whole vacation was planned out around what we were going to eat. Downtown: Todai. Pike Place Market: 1st Starbucks. Highline Community College: Chicken Teriyaki place. Plus, the bubble tea was remarkable. It was neat to put images to some of the places that she'd mentioned andfaces to the people. The little old lady at the bubble tea place was very sweet. Flying on the airplane was sweet too. First time. I couldn't stop giggling. The fairy ride to Poulsbo was sweet. I ate some phenomenal clam chowder and saw some cool viking stuff. Oh, I also went up into the space needle and ate some chocolate-covered sushi for 25$.

The Experience Music Project gets it's own paragraph. It was awesome. They had tons of old Jimi Hendrix stuff. They had the entire live setup (guitars, bass, amps, drums) that he and his band used at woodstock. That was pretty amazing to see. It's like looking at a piece of history. I saw a tornado made of guitars. There was a guitar room that showed the progression of electric guitar, like a timeline, only using real guitars instead of pictures. Let me recall, all original '52 les paul with the funky bridge, '57? flying v prototype, old strats, original Fender Broadcaster, '64 rickenbacher 12-string elec., all kindsashit.

Attached to the EMP was the SFM (science-fiction museum). That was pretty badass, too. I saw the queen alien from alienS. They had T-101. Honestly, there aren't enough blog-entries in the world to describe how sweet that shit was.

good night.

lazer tag, the red chord, etc.

sometimes, i really feel that my intuitions speak louder than my actual words. i don't know. maybe after so many conversations with candace about metaphysics/signs/karma/all of the above, some of it may be starting to sink in. here's what's on my mind:

i'll start back in early-mid november. i've started to question where my life is going. i'm engaged to the girl of my dreams. i've been at my job for about two years. i love the people i work with, especially my boss, Mike Ward. Amanda and I can finally stand being in the same room without wanting to rip each other's eyeballs out. my roomates suck more than anything and i'd love nothing more than to move out.

November 12, 2006. my boss and close friend Michael Travis Ward is killed in a car accident in the early morning on s.r. 267 in Brownsburg. i had spent nearly every day in the same office as this man for a year and a half straight. this single moment had shown me the fragility of solidarity. what we percieve as indistructible can sometimes be the most fragile things in life.

life goes on. christmas comes and goes. i still think about mike every day. i start spending more time with my dad. my roomates finally pull the last straw, so i move out and start staying with my dad again. the notion of having a full time, well-paying job with no rent starts to become very appealing.

jan. 12, 2007. teleservices direct (my place of employment) decides to shut the doors and fire the entire staff (about 150 people).

this is when i really start putting a solid amount of thought into these "signs" candace is always telling me about. basically, i'm working with no job, no rent, (practically) no band, just candace. i thought that this was life's way of telling me to get off my ass and do the things that i've always been meaning to do, (find out more about going to college, write my book/comic, travel, etc). well, out of the blue, the red chord announces that they are having open auditions for a guitarist. they need someone with touring experience and can play their material. this is it. this is where the signs have been pointing. i established contact today via email and gave them the link to ishia's page. this could be it. basically, my life is about to take a huge turn, and i don't necessarily know where it's going to go. i guess i'll know when i get there.

it's been over a month...

it's been more than a month since my last post. sorry bout that, lonely ol' blog.

where to start... MY BEARD IS BACK thank god.

i've been writing a lot (on paper) (with a pen). i'm having some trouble deciding what to write about.

i'm listening to some different shit that is expanding my way of thinking about music (Nine Inch Nails is pumping into my brain right now. and, stevie wonder is amazing. Fiona Apple has a sexy voice).

still jobless. it's kinda sweet though. i can't say that i really mind it at all. i'm scheduled to ride in an airplane for the first time in about 9 days. candace and i are going to seattle. I'm thinking about making my one carry-on bag a parachute.

photobucket won't post my cell phone images anymore. that sucks.

i'm becoming more and more confident about my writing skills. you can't teach creativity, which i think i have lots of. i just need to formulate an idea and see it through.

that's it for now.

life is but a dream (or a lillypad with a turd on it)

it's been quite awhile since my last post.

my life, as of now, could be compared to a lillypad whose only purpose in this world is to preserve the dryness of the turd that has been placed upon it. i guess that's a little confusing. basically, i'm a changed man. i live with my dad, i have no job, the van rarely starts (and runs like shit when it does), and i'm still not enrolled in school. however, i've managed to play through Gears of War for the xbox360 and i'm still working on oblivion (level 26 nord). i'm fighting my way through a novel that i do not enjoy. i haven't even pretended to write down my ideas for the comic that matt, josh, and i are supposed to create.

beard: gone

i guess i could spend some time talking about the job situation (or lack thereof). tsd is out of business. jan. 12 of 2007 was my last day. corporate just swept down from mt. olympus and closed the damned doors with no warning of any kind. oh well. i was looking for a way out anyway.

i've been working out again. it feels pretty damn good. it's kind of weird. josh ray and my dad are both in better shape than me. i've been skating by the last few years on the idea that i have high metabolism, but it seems my well has run damn-near dry. i'm going to have to actually work to stay fit. i tried my hand last night on josh's weight routine and nearly hurt myself. i couldn't sleep because my arms hurt so damned bad. i was an idiot to think that i could go from not lifting at all to a rigorous 2-hr. intensive weight-training regiment. at least i am now able to type.

i want to take a creative-writing class.

candace's birthday is in a week. her brother is flying in on that day as well. he's a pretty sweet dude. i think that we'll get along smashingly. i got her the dvd and children's book of m. night shyamalan's Lady in the Water. I also got her the rest of the Shyamalan movies on dvd that she didn't already have.

we saw Smokin' Aces tonight. i though that it was phenomenal. she was un-impressed. i will DEFINITELY be purchasing Children of Men on dvd.

gotta go. she's having a hard time sleeping and she has to get up early tomorrow. good night.

weather report

i just looked out the window and saw three inches of snow on the ground and a cardinal flew by. weird.

practice.

the band practiced yesterday and our new shit is going to blow some minds. dave is a certified badass. i can't wait to put this shit on tape.

christmas

christmas was awesome this year. i truthfully cannot fathom how much the people in my life love me (you guessed it, my way of saying that i'm a spoiled rotten little brat). i got more shit than i can shake a stick at. i still feel like total ass that i couldn't do more for the people in my life, but i did a little for almost everyone. i pretty much have no choice but to be candace's little bitch for the rest of my life, though. this i know for sure.

here we go... drumroll please... wait for it... wait for it... waaaaiiiiittttt foooorrrrr iiiitttttt... candace bought me a new xbox360. there. i said it. she got me some fly-ass new kicks. i got a clock-radio with an onboard ipod dock. she pretty much spoiled me completely. dad came through with a check to get my van fixed. for this, i couldn't thank him enough. then, an itunes gift card, custom-crafted marshmallow gun, undies (of course), gears of war (badass in every way) the nacho libre dvd (with authentic nacho libre luchador mask!), a light-up scorlling marquee belt-buckle, and some other shit that i know i'm forgetting. mom got me a jacket (that i actually like). that was pretty sweet. i know she's having a hard time.

it really, really, really sucks that candace was in slovakia for christmas, but i know that she had an awesome time there. she got to see her family and live like a snow-princess the whole time, so that's cool. i managed some serious quality matt-and-ryan time while she was gone. honestly, that eased the pain quite a bit. then, abby got here a few days before candace came home and the four of us had a blast. plus, I GOT TO SEE PAPPY ON CHRISTMAS! i haven't had the priveledge of hanging out with pappy on christmas in years.

yeah, christmas this year was one for the books. possibly, the best ever.

someone threatened to kill me

wow. where to begin? i guess i'll start off by explaining the title of this blog. i believe i've blogged many times in the past on the topic of how bad my roomates suck. all of their suckiness has cultivated and i moved out on their asses. i essentially grew tired of paying 1/3 of everything (including cable and internet) and having one room to use. there were two bathrooms, yet they insisted on using the one i use to wash their dogs. they slept in the living room after being asked numerous times not to. they would sleep until 2:00 in the afternoon, so i'd have to sneak around all day to avoid waking them up. i couldn't have people over because of their sleep. basically, they got two bathrooms and i had none. they had two bedrooms and i had no living room. they had a kitchen that i couldn't use because they would be disturbed.

let us not forget about the dog situation. there was barely enough room for the two dogs that lived there and they decide that it would be a wise decision to bring home another one. ultimately, my dog went insane from being locked in my room all day by them while i was at work, so i let my dad take care of her. dog lovers... riiiiight.

they were also made aware that if the problem were with sharing their things, (couch, tv, computer, etc.) i would gladly move my things in and let them put their shit in their bedroom. it was bigger anyway. i'd share my things and not complain about it. but.... low and behold, that wasn't it.

when i finally became fed up with the situation and decided to move my shit out, all of the bullshit came out in the wash. according to them, i had been charged 1/3 of the price of everything to rent out one room. the living room was never mine anyway and neither was the kitchen, bathroom, or anything else. wow. why would anyone knowingly pay a price equal to everyone else's to have just one room. why would i pay for internet and cable when i had neither services connected in the one room i was paying for?

i guess i became a little side-tracked, didn't i? let's get back to the explaination of the title of this entry. i decided that it would be a wise decision to move my shit out before telling them about it, just to protect my things. if they knew that i were planning on moving, they could have done anything (destroyed my shit, thrown it away, pissed on my couch, let their dogs shit on my tv, had sex on my sheets, whatever). soooo, candace and i came home one morning and there were some people whom i didn't know sleeping in the living room that i had thought that i was paying for. that was the last straw. candace and i moved every item of mine in that entire apartment in about 45 minutes without waking anyone up (quite the feat, if you ask me). basically, i recieved a phone call about two days later explaining that if i didn't pay rent on the first, his family would come here and kill me.

fast forward about a week. i'm not dead (i paid him the money like a punk-ass pussy bitch), i live with my dad, my life still kicks ass, the band started back up with practice, i've been reading, candace feels beautiful again, my new roomates are awesome (dad, squeel, peanut butter, putters), matt is still here and we're hanging out lots, and my lungs are filled with clean smoke-free air. ain't life grand?

josh howard's "step-by-step comic writing...

By Josh Howard
Posted October 19, 2006 2:40 PM I get a lot of email from people asking me how exactly I go about putting together a typical comic. So, I figured this month I would give a basic step-by-step description of my creative process.1. The first step is, of course, generating ideas. The brainstorming process is one of my favorite parts, but it can also be the most frustrating. You can't force inspiration. But once the ideas start to come, I usually start making simple notes just so I don't forget anything.

The amount of time I spend brainstorming varies from book to book. In the case of Black Harvest, the idea came to me out of nowhere, and within just a couple of months I had the whole concept down and the book picked up by Devil's Due. That's probably the quickest an idea has ever come together. In other cases, like the new Dead @ 17 ongoing series, I spent over a year developing it before I felt it was ready. In that case, I took extra care in creating the characters and concepts because I didn't want to repeat myself. I didn't feel it was worth doing if it was just going to be "school girl with ax fighting zombies, version 2.0."Part of this process is also doing very rough character designs. I usually don't fully design the character until after I have the script written. I will just do rough head shots in the margins, just enough to capture the look of the character so it's easier to write. 2. The next step is writing the first draft of the script. I have never written a full script by hand. I will sometimes start it, but the problem I always face is that my mind thinks faster than I can write. So most of my actual writing is done by word processor. Since I'm writing for myself, my descriptions are very brief, if there are any at all. I write primarily to get the basic dialogue and scenes down. I don't usually frame shots or define angles, or lay out action scenes - those happen next. 3. After finishing the first draft, I take it and begin doing quick thumbnail layouts of the pages. These are extremely rough - probably completely indiscernible to anyone but myself.

4. Now I'm moving full-steam ahead. I begin penciling and inking the actual pages, completely throwing out the script and thumbnails I just spent hours creating... Only kidding. But it's during this process that I can fully begin to see the story form, and 90% of the time I will drastically alter something I've already laid out, or I will write a completely new scene. This is when the book really comes together and how it really benefits from having me both as the artist and the writer. Looking at the story visually, I can see and do things that I never would have thought of if I was just staring at a blank computer screen.

5. Almost there! I scan the pages and begin coloring in Photoshop. But coloring is only half of it. I will also re-frame panels, re-size figures if the proportions are off, and sometime redraw an entire background. I tend to work in Photoshop rather unconventionally, so I'm definitely not someone to take tips from. When working on actual comic pages, I rarely use layers, unless I'm swapping things around. I tend to get the colors and look I want on the first pass, so I seldom have to worry about changing my mind or continually trying something different. When it comes to me doing regular art pieces, I will usually experiment a bit more, but for comics I try to keep it pretty simple. I have to work at a really quick rate of speed, so I feel it's best to streamline the process where I can.

6. The final step. After getting all the pages colored, I will then go through page-by-page and write the final script. Most of what I'm doing here is fine-tuning dialogue and making sure everything flows right. This can sometimes be the most frustrating part of the process, because if I find a scene isn't exactly working like I envisioned, it's not so easy to go back and change things. However, there's nothing quite like putting on the finishing touches and seeing my ideas become fully formed. And there you have it! All that's left is to print the sucker up and wait for the critics to tell you everything you did wrong!